grey skies

bring the

morning

rain to make us

beautiful

once more

and I keep

wishing

you were here

and all the

stars

before me

that scream

and wail and

recoil at the night

will fall

from sky to sky

and we’ll dance

When you

Arrive

Here's a very recent poem of mine. It's a little odd and random, but I decided to just write and not think to much about it. Hints the results haha...

I had an appointment

with my shrink

this very afternoon.

He asked me how I was

so I forced a fake laugh

and told him I was fine.

My Shrink thinks that I

am insane

and that I am

no good to my family.

He hasnt got a clue.

I can't tell him

where I've been

or what I've seen.

This morning, I walked

along the coast

of Madagascar,

and then ran

to Australia.

From there, I went

to the great and

glorious Indonesia.

And there, I stayed the night.

As evening came,

the stars poked holes

in the sky

Like a little Boy pokes holes

in his styrofoam box of crickets.

" We're all just a bunch of crickets."

I said to my shrink.

" Do you believe that you are

A Cricket?..."

" I just said we're all crickets,

you fucking deaf, Shitard."

I couldn't tell you

what exactly a

" Shitard" is.

But apparently, my Shrink

fits the profile.

Anyways, the stars came out

and  casted their

escalator beams

down to glorious Indonesia.

I took one to the sky, and

remained there all night.

As I ascended

to the heavens,

I reached out to touch

the clouds.

Incase you're curious, they are

soft, and warm, but also

a little damp.

I selected a

"me" sized cloud

to lay on. The moon

and I talked a while.

Mostly, about sports.

( The moon is a

Red Sox fan)

Now,

I must ask you:

What the hell am I talking about?

Why am I saying it?

It means

nothing

to you.

Because you know that it is

impossible.

Fair enough.

Go on and know nothing more

than your sanity.

As for me

tomorrow night is poker night

with Lavar Burton, Shakespeare

and Peter Jennings.

It's going to be Kick ass!

An old man in his late eighties, walked into the downtown super market. It was Sunday afternoon and he was glad to be out of milk. He needed an excuse to be there.

And then, he saw her: The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her glowing smile, her bright blue eyes shining with wisdom; she was a doll! She appeared to be about his age and he saw her there every Sunday..

 He walked past her, afraid to look, and when he reached the end of the isle, he turned around. She was picking up a box of coco puffs. My favorite thought the old man. He smiled and right as he did, she turned and looked at him, and smiled back. Nervously, the man turned and quickly walked away. I’ll talk to her next week he thought.

A week later, the old man brought a bouquet of flower to give to the woman. He had thought about everything he was going to say. As he walked up to the woman, she turned to look at him. Their eyes met, and the old man instantly forgot everything he was going to say. He tried to make words but several incoherent sounds came out of his mouth so he quickly shut it. Finally he said I bought these for you and laid them in her cart. Without giving her a chance to speak, he turned and ran out of the super market. Now I’ve done it he thought. O well. Maybe she’ll forget by next week. I’ll try again.

For the next few weeks, the old man was only able to smile or wave to the beautiful woman of his dreams. He never could work up the courage to talk to her. Finally, one Sunday he didn’t see her. He waited there all day and she never came. Maybe she has the flu thought the old man. For the next month, he came to the super market every Sunday. He even started checking other days, but he never saw her.

As days turned to months, the old man became very sick and was hospitalized. He was diagnosed with heart cancer and given a month to live. Overcome by an indescribable peace, the old man embraced his fate, and enjoyed his days walking through the hospital garden on the roof, thinking about his life.But the more he thought about his life, the more he thought about the woman at the super market, and how different his life might be if he had talked to her sooner. As the month was ending, he became even sicker. One evening, while being helped back from the bathroom, something caught his eyes through the door window of his neighboring hospital room. It was the woman from the super market!

Excuse me ma’am, why is this woman here?

 She has some form of cancer, I don’t recall which kind.

 How long does she have?

Days.

 Please, could I go in and speak to her?

Well… I guess a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. Go right ahead.

 The old man quickly opened the door and closed it behind him. She looked up at him and smiled. You’re the man from the Super market. He nodded. I still have your flowers. She pointed, and there they were, in a vase on the table next to her.

Wow… I can’t believe you’ve had them this long.

 I insisted that the hospital take care of them for me. The old man smiled and she returned it. He walked to the side of her hospital bed and knelt. I’m Stanley.

Hello Stanley. I’m Sarah.

They both smiled again, and talked for nearly two hours. Later, Sarah’s attendant made Stanley leave, much later that night, he snuck into her room. Stanley entered Sarah’s room and looked to see her eyes closed, breathing heavily. Sarah, it’s me Stanley. Stanley, Sarah whispered, I’m dying.

So am I.

Are you afraid?

I haven’t decided.

Will you stay here with me?

Of course.

Stanley climbed into the hospital bed with Sarah. She sliped her hand into his, and turned to look him in the eyes. I love you they said at the same time.

As Stanley and Sarah were talking in Sarah's hospital room, Stanley's attendant had come to check on him and found him missing. The attendant walked and stoped in front of door of the room next to Stanley's. Another nurse quietly walked and stoped beside Stanley's attendant.

The hospital doesnt think she'll make it past tonight.

Ya, ....they don't think he has much time either. ....

I figured I'd let them alone, and enjoy what time they have left together...

That sounds like a good idea.......... what is she dying from?

Heart Cancer.

They died that night, together, in each others arms…

And then, their love began....

 Life is inconsistent. This is something I’m learning. Now, that may be an easy concept for us to grasp, but I wonder how much we consider it. I believe that what we all really want is consistency. We want it in friendships, in our relationships, we want it in our own actions and decisions, we wantt it in our spiritual beliefs.  But the fact is, life isn’t at all consistent. “ The only consistency is inconsistency”. During our teenage years, as we grow older, relationships are constantly changing. People who compassionately care about us may do so for a period of time, but then, for a time, they may be too caught up in their own lives. We all do this. Latley I’ve really wanted friends that care a lot for me, and show that they do all the time, and I know that my friends have wanted that of me.

            Tonight, I’ve found beauty in our imperfections. I’ve found peace in the fact that the people I care about, I will always care about, even if I showed it more yesterday than I did today, and those who care about me, always will. So maybe I’ve contradicted myself a little. But in doing so, I mean to say that maybe there will be a time for relationships to be outwardly consistent; there will be a time for us to always show we care. I think that that time is Heaven. Not everyone reading this believes in Heaven, and that’s ok. But I think that’s why life is so inconsistent, because Heaven will only be consistency, and it will consistency we can’t fathom.. Heaven will be insuperable joy that will always fill us and it will never get old or boring; and in that time we’ll love like we’ve never loved and we will rejoice in singing and dancing. It we had consistency in joy or happiness or in relationships what would Heaven be? And again, maybe this is all so easy to grasp and so obvious that is need not be put into words. But there are times where we are slowed by the thickness of fading friendships. There are times that we just understand how one moment we can care so incredibly much for one persona and they care so much for us and then in a blink, those feelings are gone and we’re left either alone or on to someone else. Tonight, I’ve found peace in this.

            I’m learning that everything is as it should be! We have to really acknowledge the fact that our lives are inconsistent, are feelings are inconsistent, we are inconsistent. We have to accept that relationships won’t last forever. Maybe Life isn’t about our own lives, maybe life is about our own lives along with every single life we come into contact with.

 "No man is an island, entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.... any man's death dimininshes me, because I am involved in mankind."

                                                     -John Donne

We're here for each other. If you don't believe in God, I can assume you at least believe in Love. I believe that  Love is of God, but regardless, if you don't believe in God, you most certainly still believe in Love. We are here to Love. We're here to fight along side one another and share our lives, our trials, our stuggles, with eachother.

" Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really in, in just this sense, love." - Frederick Buechner

 We’re here to all be imperfect, and to be imperfect together, to be no less or no better than eachother.

While life is inconsistent, let us continue to fight (and by fight I mean fight anything that might over-take us such as despair or loneliness) and let us continue to Love. Let us combat injustice with Love. Let us judge ourselves before we judge each other. Let us forgive each other, because we often are in need of forgiveness, and let us look past each others faults simply because we have faults of our own. I say all this because, maybe when we encounter change, reacting this way will help.

Everything is as it should be, and it always will. Maybe that in itself, is the only consistency we will ever experience. I guess the point I’m trying to make us this: Friendships may fade; they may brighten. Good qualities may shine in us, and other times, bad qualities will. Whatever the change, “ thus is Life.” In that, I find peace, and I hope you do too. So let us continue to love.